Firstly, if you’ve come here thinking that this is some nice parenting blog where I tell you how amazing my life/kids/partner/family is, you’ve come to the wrong place. I’ve got one of those elsewhere but I won’t share it here because it’s neither the time or the place. This blog is for me to spout my anger and frustration and where I can get quite properly riled up about all the crap that comes along with being a mother, a step-mother, a partner and an ex (and probably politics to be honest). Let’s just say this is my wall and the words are my head bashing against it repeatedly.
I think it’s fair to say that most families these days are pretty complex, ours is no exception, and its also fair to say that with complexity comes trouble and grief and bleeding hearts. The ‘blended’ family has become the norm, whether you think that’s a good thing or a bad thing it makes no difference, it is, as my partner would say, what it is. And sometimes I can be that person that says “YAY! It’s awesome! There’s SO…MUCH…LOVE” (sometimes), but not here. This is for the dark shit, the deep open wounds of parenting and the gritted teeth of step-parenting, the ‘fuck you’ in your relationship and the ‘I wish they were dead’ ex rants, the plans for a violent revolution and the crying in the armchair on my own.
I know current Facebook philosophies spiel gratitude and mindfulness and forgiveness and understanding the narcissist/empath co-dependent dynamic and I follow them, when I can. Be honest though, that’s near on impossible when you’re trying to find your partner’s undies in a pile full of piss covered clothes and every fucker is late for school. Or when you’re being screamed at by a six year old because no-one loves her and the tween is complaining that you haven’t ironed her no iron jumper well enough. Or when your three year old is kicking the shit out of his step-brothers toy and said toy owner is freaking out because there’s a blade of grass near his arm, all whilst your partner’s trying to read a passive aggressive bullet pointed list of so and sos ‘dietary requirements’ and your own ex is calling you a life ruining cunt over Whatsapp because hey, it’s before 11am so why the hell not?
You have been warned.
Welcome to the dark side.